UTME: Once In A Lifetime

Business Time: UTME

Congratulations, Esteemed Jambite. You have read, re-read, and reviewed. Candles upon candles have been destroyed by your late night reading habits. You're prepared for your UTME, right? I agree, young jambite. But I have got news for you. JAMB is prepared for you. You have probably never written an exam like this. You have probably never written an exam like the UTME.

I have. Which is why you should take this advice very seriously if you want to make it a once in a lifetime business.

Check Out The JAMB Website Everyday:

So many people fail the UTME because they don't even know JAMB's website. Sounds creepy, doesn't it? Nah. Now, pay attention. There's no better way to keep in touch with JAMB's ever-changing program than to visit Jamb's Corporate Web Address regularly.

Important information like changes in dates, and venues are discussed and published on the website. And if you so seriously don't want to come back next year, you should fall in love with the website. ASAP.

Tweet JAMB:

Complaints? No e-slip yet? Do not worry. Tweet JAMB. But I don't have a twitter account. Create one.
There's someone paid to solve those problems of yours. Make him sweat for the money.
How? Tweet. No one's going to spank you for tweeting from the comfort of your mobile device.

Read and Relax:

Read. Everything. The bad guys at JAMB take questions from every topic. That's how serious this is. Skip any at your own risk. Remember, it's you versus a computer in the exam hall. Do a good job representing humans.

And relax. It's just an examination. No need to break down in the hall because you couldn't answer the first twenty. Relax. Take the questions one after the other. But, hey, relax doesn't mean you sleep in the hall. Put simply, be comfortable.

Mind Your Business:

You are in the hall. The computer's staring at you and you're staring back. Question number two says Differentiation. You don't know question number two, right? So you turn to your neighbour; who turns to you. And you speak. So have you found out the answer yet? No. Why? Because you were caught and had to say goodbye to an examination before it even began.

Don't play smart on JAMB. No sudden 'I want to pee' hand raising. No suspicious head movements. Your invigilators don't like you. Why would they, they don't even know you. They don't care. It's not their business. It's yours. So mind your business.

Write your examination and leave. 

Maximise Time:

Don't ever delay on a question. You have hundreds of them unanswered. Go to the next one. And the next. Boot your computer when others are booting theirs. Log in with others. And write as fast as you can. No one is going to give you extra minutes for whatever reason. When others stop, my friend, you stop.

The Invigilators Can Fail You Faster Than JAMB:

They hold the keys. Those never smiling, always grumpy invigilators. One wrong move, and it's over for you. People have been slapped, bullied and sent home for 'smart moves'. This will continue to happen. But you can avoid it.
Do not be noticed. Let your fate be decided by JAMB itself. Or watch those dreams crumble in the hands of your 'supervisors'.

Make Sure You Pass:

Your preparations would amount to nothing if you do not pass. You have this chance to pass. Take it.